Should you keep playing the victim card?
· 4 MIN READ
We’ve seen these words in articles, books, and TED Talks. It’s no longer just something our closest friends or family say to console us or make us feel better; now, everyone is telling everyone else it’s not their fault, it’s the system. It’s not their skills; it’s the economy. It’s not their personality; it’s the other person who is to blame.
But I ask:
If you do not take responsibility for your life, who does?
If it’s never your doing, but always the circumstances of your environment, then who created that environment?
We all live on this planet, sharing its resources in different ways and at different times. Yet, each of us has something unique — our own world. By Your World, I mean the character and nature of the people in your sphere: the friends you choose, your family (at least those you’re in contact with), your co-workers (those you keep close and those you avoid), even the people you talk to at university or the lecturers and mentors you consult in times of need. But most importantly, Your World includes your thoughts. Your mind and the way you think are just as crucial as the people you let into your life. All these components make up your personal experience; it is your own world. No matter how many of these friends you share with others, Your World is as unique as you are. Only you get to experience all that you do.
If you agree with me, then my next question is:
Who controls everything in your world
The answer is simple, and you probably already know that YOU do. You are the one who picks your friends; you pick the quality and quantity of people you spend time with. You choose to stay and listen to stories, podcasts, or videos that ‘interest’ you. Most of what you decide to entertain yourself with daily is up to you and is within your control.
You are in control of everything in your life (yes, even the things that seem out of your control or bigger than you can manage). Let’s start with the big things. Suppose the economy changes drastically and puts you in a position you couldn’t have foreseen. It is good to know that there are always lessons to be learned from every experience. Rather than seeking someone to blame, look for ways to overcome and plan how to shield yourself from the unforeseen for the future; after all, life does come with risks and unforeseen circumstances. Why not try to mitigate risks as much as you can? It’s a mindset shift.
You might say, “This example seems like it can be more controlled.” Then let’s talk about something more spontaneous—like, God forbid, your home burning down, a sudden layoff, or the loss of a loved one. These can’t be prepared for in advance and can be devastating, but this is when hope becomes valuable. Go through each phase of your loss, but go through it you must. The season and timing differ for everyone, but you must overcome and find your way to the light at the end of the tunnel and reach for that light.
The mind is a powerful tool, and mastering your thoughts is key to unlocking the life you desire. To clarify what I mean and sound less like a motivational speaker, think about a time you wanted to buy a device, maybe a headset, a phone, or a laptop. If you’re like me, you probably did a lot of research, watched videos on YouTube, TikTok, and read online reviews. Then suddenly, you start seeing that device everywhere, in the train, at work, and on the street. It seems like they are everywhere! The only thing is you never noticed them before because your mind is focused on that item.
That’s what the mind does. Start focusing on the positive outcomes of any situation, no matter how hard it may be. Once you can see it in your mind, you are halfway there; the next step is action.
One last thing: if you don’t change your situation, who will? Change it before it changes you.
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